A positive heading, should have been easy to write, right?
WRONG, it took me most of this afternoon to stop dwelling on what I perceived as a dismal lack of progress in the last fortnight.
I was disappointed in how little I had achieved since I last blogged. I was annoyed at myself for letting stuff get in the way, diverting my focus away from my reno research.
How wrong I was, taking the time to look for anything positive in the last fortnight made me realise that I had made all the right choices and achieved amazing things. More on that and the amazing cover photo, that I took, later.
Why was I being so hard on myself?
What led to me think I was a disappointment? I could be here for hours, so to spare you some pain I’ll focus on 2 main areas:
- Comparisons – one of the most self destructive things we do to ourselves
- The importance of “stuff” – it didn’t get in the way, I chose this stuff
Why is it so dangerous to compare yourself?
I am watching my “school” group post pictures of the progress they are making, purchasing properties, before and after photos of renovations, and I love them. I find the photo’s both inspiring and educational, which is where I should stop.
Instead I compare my progress to their’s and berate myself for being “behind”! I have somehow decided it’s a race, and I am coming a distant last. No prizes for me.
This is why comparisons are dangerous, you decide you are competing with someone, anyone, everyone, and most competitions have winners and losers, with you choosing yourself as the loser.
I had to remember that everyone started reno school at different stages and for different reasons. Some people were renovating the family home, some were renovating an existing investment property to improve the rental return, some had just purchased a property to renovate, and then some were like me. Newbies, with this glorious blank canvas to play with. What a great place to be, the opportunities are endless.
I acknowledged that everyone’s circumstances are different, and I don’t know the stories, challenges, hardships, highs and lows that got these amazing people to where they are.
I also need to have some self compassion and priase for me. I work full time, I provide an amazing life for a very spoilt dog, Hugo the wonder pug, I exercise, run an amazing female wine tasting group that connects people, and I make time for my friends and family. I’m doing amazing stuff. Which brings me to……….
The importance of stuff!
We hear people say it all the time “life got in the way” and we make it sound like life, or stuff, is such an imposition. What was this stuff that I chose to do in the last fortnight? Let’s be clear, these were my choices, this stuff did not just happen to get in the way!
I caught up with a close friend, not on Facebook, not on email, Skype or a phone call. An old school face to face catch up, in Darwin, a flight of over 4 hours. A long weekend catch up that was full of laughs, food, wine, music, dancing and more laughs, mostly at my dancing!
Relationships and personal connections are the building blocks to a happy healthy whole me, and it’s important not to get so caught up in my goals that I let relationships slide.
I also got back to nature, hiking the beautiful Sydney harbour and coastal walks that I am lucky enough to have on my doorstop, perfect training for the Inca trail that I will tackle in August. More important than the physical benefits is how much calmer and more positive I feel after a hike in nature.
Now to that photo, the only photo that is needed in this post. This is Berry Springs in the NT, and the recuperative power of water is amazing. I thought paddling and floating around in the natural pools was relaxing and energising, until I found the amazing effects of a 30 minute waterfall massage. All the tension, anxiety and stress I had been holding in my body was kneaded away by the power of water.
I highly recommend finding a waterfall and getting a massage, handy hint, wear bathers with strong elastic, quite a few fish are now in therapy.
Thanks to nature my body and mind are in the perfect state, ready to tackle anything.
I am really happy, I am exactly where I need to be, my reno is going at exactly the right pace, for me. Now that wasn’t so hard to write, right?