We all have money worries, with most falling in to the following three categories:
- There’s never enough money;
- I’m hopeless at managing money, when I actually have any; and
- Screw it, money is evil anyway
My current money worry was the biggie, there is not enough. Yes even Wealthy Chicks worry about money!
Despite planning for a drop in income as I build my business my emotional reaction was unexpected, and horrible. I felt anxious, concerned, worried, stressed and thought about money constantly.
“I’ll never earn enough again!”
How did I get here?
Like a lot of us I grew up hearing that we didn’t have anough money, “money doesn’t grow on tree’s”, and to spend money on one thing you must give up something else.
You grow up and continue to hear stories on the news, from family and friends about people with money worries, spiralling debt, never being able to afford to buy a home.
No wonder we continue to believe that there isn’t enough money.
Then you get a large unexpected bill or two that reinforces that belief. For me it was a vet bill and an invoice for a range hood, a decision I consciously made to protect new paint. Were the funds available? Yes. Was it in my planned budget? Nooo, therefore “THERE’S NOT ENOUGH’!
The irony of this belief is when you do have success you feel guilty because someone else must have gone without. I am regularly in this space, swinging from feeling guilty because I have too much, to worrying because there can’t possibly be enough. You may even self sabotage your success to go back where you belong, where there’s not enough money.
How do you deal with this worry?
Acknowledge it – give it a voice, say it out loud, share with a friend or write it down. Please don’t do what I did and allow it to fester, building momentum and making me feel worse.
Simply writing this blog released worry and believe me suppressing the worry doesn’t help it go away.
Do you really know what you are worried about? So many people say “I need more money”, yet they don’t actually know how much they really need, right now.
Do your numbers and be specific about how much you need right now. If you need a budget contact me firstname.lastname@example.org and I will send you a template. Once you determine how much you need right now, do you already have that much or is there a shortfall?
As humans we tend to exaggerate our worries, so being specific helps determine if your worry is:
- Accurate in the size of the problem.
If you don’t know how much you really need how are you going to fix it? Someone can give you more money, here’s 5 cents….now don’t complain, you said “I need more money”
Another risk in being vague is you tend to make emotional and/ or knee jerk decisions.
I needed to drop the rent on a property and I had a glorious rant about how this sucked, was financially disastrous and I decided to sell the property, STAT.
I got all worked up, totally convinced I’d be broke , and then I went back to my budget, updated the numbers and it still works.
Damn the numbers, my spectatular tirade was over, because the specifics stopped the worry.
Do Something – look at one, just one thing you are worried about and find a way to reduce that single worry. For example, I will feel more optimistic if I had 2 more paying clients.
Instead of constantly worrying about money the focus shifts to the actions. Try it, what’s the one thing you could do to reduce one money worry, then focus on that.
There is enough and you are enough (my struggle) If, like me, this is your struggle, that you aren’t good enough, smart enough, anything enough, here’s our new mantra:
- I am enough
- I am doing enough
- I am doing exactly what I need to be doing
Smile, believe, repeat, because money cannot stop you feeling unworthy and you will continue in the struggle between worrying there isn’t enough and feeling guilty when you do fleetingly have enough.
If you still struggle with your money worries lets talk, the first coaching session is on me. You can contact me via email email@example.com